Breast Milk Lollipops Exist to Make You Envy Infants

Let’s be real: after the semen cocktails, the idea of a breast milk lollipop seems downright tame. Not to mention nostalgic — after all, the last time you drank breast milk was also probably the last time you ate as much as you wanted, screamed constantly, and still had someone else wipe your butt.

Lollyphile, the company responsible for creatively flavored lollipops, has a healthy respect for the awesome power of breast milk, describing it as a substance “so delicious it could turn a screaming, furious child into a docile, contented one” and infants as “selfish” for hogging all of it. They’re also quick to reassure any dubious consumers that the lollipops are not made with actual breast milk (so no one has to worry about factories full of pregnant and nursing mothers pumping frantically to keep up with lollipop demand). Lollyphile has expressed a ton of gratitude to the mothers who shared their breast milk with Lollyphile “flavor specialists” to get the authentic breast milk flavor, but the treats themselves are totally vegan.

And no, the lollipops aren’t shaped like breasts.

Breast Milk Lollipops $10 @ Lollyphile 

H/T HuffPo