Breast Milk Lollipops Exist to Make You Envy Infants

Let’s be real: after the semen cocktails, the idea of a breast milk lollipop seems downright tame. Not to mention nostalgic — after all, the last time you drank breast milk was also probably the last time you ate as much as you wanted, screamed constantly, and still had someone else wipe your butt.

Lollyphile, the company responsible for creatively flavored lollipops, has a healthy respect for the awesome power of breast milk, describing it as a substance “so delicious it could turn a screaming, furious child into a docile, contented one” and infants as “selfish” for hogging all of it. They’re also quick to reassure any dubious consumers that the lollipops are not made with actual breast milk (so no one has to worry about factories full of pregnant and nursing mothers pumping frantically to keep up with lollipop demand). Lollyphile has expressed a ton of gratitude to the mothers who shared their breast milk with Lollyphile “flavor specialists” to get the authentic breast milk flavor, but the treats themselves are totally vegan.

And no, the lollipops aren’t shaped like breasts.

Breast Milk Lollipops $10 @ Lollyphile 

H/T HuffPo

More content

Products
Gordon Ramsay Is Backing ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’—Here’s Why
For a long time, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! lived in a very specific lane. You knew what it was for. You also knew…
,
Products
Mike’s Hot Honey Just Made Its First Move Into Drinks
Mike’s Hot Honey is now looking to be in your next beverage. The brand just dropped Mike’s Hot Honey Syrup ($16.99), its first-ever product designed…
,
Products
Club Crackers Is Betting Big On Hidden Valley Ranch And Extra Butter This Year
Club Crackers is starting the year by leaning hard into two things America clearly can’t quit: ranch and butter. The brand just announced two new…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox