According to a recall issued yesterday, all one-pound bags of black Red Vines labeled "Best Before 020413" should not be eaten and can be returned to their place of purchase for a full refund, after health officials found the batch to contain up to 13.2 micrograms of lead, or more than twice the state-recommended safe amount.
The American Licorice Company, who owns Red Vines, offered no explanation regarding why their product contained such high amounts of the toxic metal, but was kind enough to link to the CDPH page to explain that children are normally asymptomatic. Severe poisoning, however, can lead to: "hearing problems, headaches, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, loss of appetite, constipation, muscle soreness, anemia, neurological impairments such as stumbling or loss of concentration, seizures, encephalopathy and coma."
Luckily most sane kids hate the stuff, but if you or your favorite old folks happen to be nuts, do yourself a favor and check the back of the bag.
'Cause lezzbereal, from intake to outake, ain't none of that sound fun--regular bowel movements be damned.