Advertisement

This Is The Most Erotic Poem About Pizza I’ve Ever Heard [WATCH]

Poetry can be beautiful, it can lift your spirits, it can take you to a place you never thought possible. And then there's times when poetry wants to make you take a shower with pizza and do dirty things.

Advertisement

As our own Elie Ayrouth went down to St. Louis to find out what goes down after hours during Tastemade's "All Nighter" show, he stumbled upon a slam poetry session and dropped a poem about his favorite cheesy pie that could almost be mistaken for a Too $hort verse.

Elie has a knack for turning anything sexual, as his Nikki Giovanni-like spoken word flows actually had the crowd bobbing their heads.

Advertisement

Pizza

Pizza is life

Pizza is sexy

It's curvy, it's saucy

Pizza is my wife

It's deep, deep dish

No, no deep sea fish on my pizza

Paper thin crust

Mile-long cheese pulls

Mountains of pepperoni and basil

It's nipply in Napoli

Cheese drips everywhere

My food boner burstin' through my jeans, every seam wih me and my slice

Is ripe with wide eyes, for better or worse, I can't see the world outside

I need a drink just thinking about my love for this piece of bread, sauce an cheese

It makes me weak to my knees and despite what's outside

I keep my eyes on the pie

Just one piece, maybe two, maybe six

There's no bad day for pizza

And even when the pizza's bad, I want a garbage bag

full of seconds and thirds

until my stomach spits

and this world has heard that I got love for pizza

I want to fold it, I want to rip it

let it wrap around my tongue

as I run up the spiral staircase of a food boner building on my ground floor

the delivery guy's almost here

I can't wait to start eating some pizza

Its lines were almost like Kanye's McDonald's poem, except pizza trumps MCD fries any day.

There's a very specific type of person who thinks of sex and pizza at the same time. If this poem makes you feel some type of way, you now know you are one of those people.