The Best Conspiracies Surrounding Mr. Peanut’s Death
When the news came across my desk that Mr. Peanut had died, my first reaction, was, “Okay.”
You wouldn’t expect the 104-year-old peanut’s death to move the needle, but believe it or not, he was trending on Twitter pretty hard earlier this week, ahead of even the impeachment hearings.
The press release we got said, “It is with heavy hearts that we confirm MR. PEANUT has passed away in a tragic accident in order to save the lives of his dear friends Matt Walsh and Wesley Snipes.” Then it informed us that Mr. Peanut’s funeral services will take place during the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl.
Why they decided to kill off the longtime spokespeanut, we don’t know yet, but plenty of people have had their theories.
We’re willing to bet that Gary Vee had something to do with it, as his agency VaynerMedia, represents Planters.
Will be super missed #RIPMrPeanut https://t.co/U1FDcnaU8L pic.twitter.com/c6OgpgIa8q
— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) January 23, 2020
Foodbeast’s own Constantine Spyrou believes this is all an elaborate publicity stunt, which is probably the silliest conspiracy theory. The peanut is clearly dead. The topic did come up on the latest episode of the Foodbeast Katchup Podcast, and everyone gave their theories of what the heck is going on with the Estate of Mr. Peanut.
As mentioned earlier, Twitter ran wild with theories:
The Epstein/Government Theories
mr peanut was assassinated by the us government for attempting to achieve racial unity through his work with george washington carver. rip to a true ally
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) January 22, 2020
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Nah Desus this is why… pic.twitter.com/kCbTZdMG1A
— RespectPele (@PeleRespect) January 22, 2020
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so mr. peanut was 6’1” and he hanged himself from a bunk bed? and the two guards who were supposed to be watching him fell asleep while all this was happening? yeah sorry i don’t buy it
— Andrea More (@amore_orless) January 22, 2020
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Mr. peanut didn’t kill himself.
— Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) January 23, 2020
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Fire Roasted Theories
HE FELL INTO THE CRASHED CAR AND IT EXPLODED, BUT HE COULD HAVE JUST ROASTED IN THE FIRE AND NOT DIED
— Nick May (@MAYN_attraction) January 23, 2020
Many fans aren’t falling for the death and going with Constantine’s theory that this is all a marketing scheme for the Super Bowl. Our own Reach Guinto shared the same sentiments as the tweet above, that Planters is actually going to reveal a new roasted peanut flavor.
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Nah Desus this is why… pic.twitter.com/kCbTZdMG1A
— RespectPele (@PeleRespect) January 22, 2020
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Rising Like Lazarus
Save your annoyance for when Mr. Peanut — inevitably — is resurrected.
— R/GA (@RGA) January 23, 2020
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Mr. Peanut is Still The Face of Capitalism
as long as we’re living under capitalism mr peanut is not dead and his reign is not over. grow up
— sloane (sipihkopiyesis) (@cottoncandaddy) January 23, 2020
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Someone With Allergies Set Him Up
Mr. Peanut: *dies*
Peanut allergy kids: pic.twitter.com/uO7fLygOcy
— Jeff Goldbloomin’ Onion (@Yung_Greene) January 23, 2020
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Mr. Cashew
I’m no Colombo, but who had the most to gain from Mr. Peanut’s death? Just sayin, I’d start by questioning Mr. Cashew. pic.twitter.com/P0YvD6OweL
— matt (@MattsIdeaShop) January 22, 2020
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Somewhere an embittered, jealous and long-suffering Mr. Almond is quietly whispering to Mr. Cashew, “It’s our time now. OUR TIME.”
— Paul Myers (@pulmyears) January 22, 2020
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Their YouTube video has already garnered 2 million views, and the video’s comments were turned off for some reason. What are they hiding? Whatever it is, We’ll find out Sunday, February 2, as that’s when the big reveal will take place, and hopefully is worth the hype it created this week.
