The Competitive Eater’s Guide to Maximizing Candy Consumption on Halloween

It’s Halloween tomorrow. You know what that means. No, not doing candy shooters. Not going out in your skimpiest “sexy candy corn” outfit. Nah, it means it’s time to get chocolate wasted — get this — on actual chocolate. What, did you think trick or treating was just for little kids? Please. This year, Halloween is for the grown-ups, and we’re here to teach you how to do it right.

Foodbeast enlisted the help of world-ranked competitive eater Naader “Freak8r” Reda to map out the best way to eat as much Halloween candy as humanly possible in one sitting. The way we figure, we’re finally old enough to do it without anyone telling us not to. So go on, make five-year-old you proud.

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Step 1: Eat light beforehand

If you want to face your sugary feast pro eater-style, start by eating light the day before and morning of; we’re talking protein shakes and leafy greens. This way, not only is your digestive system nice and clean, but you’re also starving by trick-or-treating time. Perfect for some primo candy-binging.

PicThx Hulagway

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Step 2: Fruity stuff first

As tempted as you’ll be to reach for a Snickers, chocolates tend to be hard to chew and even harder to swallow. For maximum efficiency, stick to fruity and sour candies first — think Mike & Ikes and Warheads and lollipops. Indulge occasionally in a Reese’s Cup for the jolt of protein and fiber to help temper the inevitable sugar crash.

PicThx Sugarpuss4ever

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Step 3: Keep warm liquids on hand

Reda recommends using liquids only sparingly (too much fills your stomach and slows you down). But if you must drink, warm beverages like tea and coffee aid digestion.

PicThx epsos

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Step 4: Food coma

If you’re able to follow steps 1 through 3, Reda says, you could “probably eat for over an hour and have a very interesting Halloween night.” Just be prepared to sleep in and feel awful the next morning. You know what they say, “You know you had a good weekend when you’re still recovering two days later.”

Lead PicThx Andrec