Freedom Flask, Because Nothing Says Freedom Like Wearing Your Drink In Your Crotch

Don’t you hate having to discard your cans and bottles whenever you go to a sporting event or concert? Finally, the solution we’ve all been waiting for- a Fanny Pack full o’ booze that you strap to your privates!

Freedom Flask is here to save the day, simply fill the pouch with your favorite beverage, position in front of your downstairs mixup with the handy belt apparatus, and dispense using the convenient spigot that you access through your fly. There is totally nothing weird about any of this.

There’s no guarantee that your drink will stay cool for very long, but that’s a small price to pay for being able to drink from your own nether regions.

Here’s a quick demo, in case you’re actually serious about purchasing one:

($25 @ Amazon)