This Knife-Wielding Monkey Got Drunk And Became Furious George

Trying to deal with a drunk man wielding a knife is a scary thought, but something about the unpredictability of a belligerent monkey parading around with a Santoku knife like a blade-licking psychopath really puts the fear of God in you.

The capuchin monkey (we’ll call him Stabby) simply walked into a Brazilian bar and began downing a rum beverage he found on the bar top.

Shortly after Stabby got his lil’ buzz on, he decided to pull an OJ and grabbed the biggest knife he could find. The furry alcoholic then retreated to the roof and began swinging the knife wildly at anybody that tried to get close and blow his buzz. At one point it even looked as though he was waiting for someone to walk underneath him so he could drop it on top of them, a la Christian Bale in American Psycho.

Eventually, Stabby was caught and released back into the wildlife reserve, only to be captured again and put on time out after getting a little rough with some of the local children.

Photo Credit: Cracked, YouTube, Fox 5

More content

Products
Capri Sun Just Turned A Childhood Hack Into An Official Product
Capri Sun is putting a sweet spin on a classic summer tradition with its new Capri Sun Straw Pops. Inspired by the brand’s signature yellow…
,
Innovation
Your Fridge May Soon Know Your Food Is Spoiled Before You Do
Humans rely on sight and smell to decide whether food has gone bad, but spoilage often begins long before either sense notices a problem. Researchers…
,
Products
Welch’s Is Challenging Uncrustables With A Bigger PB&J
After 31 years, Welch’s is coming for Uncrustables with its new Real PB&Js. The new line features a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that’s 50%…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox