Man Burns Penis After Having Sex with a Pizza, Domino’s Tweets Epic Response
While we’re usually not a fan of corporate Twitter accounts, they tend to be bland and much too perky, this Twitter chat between Domino’s UK and one of their customers deserves a slow clap.
After making sweet, hot love to a pizza, @ITK_AGENT_VIGO reached out to @Dominos_UK for a refund. The man complained that “STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA,” making sure to stick to all caps throughout the rest of the exchange.
In response, Domino’s replied brilliantly. While we acknowledge this exchange is most likely fake, we like to entertain the possibility that there’s an ambitious pizza out there trying to give lonely men blow jobs. Read on:
.@Dominos_UK HELLO I’VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office – [email protected] regarding this matter.
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I’VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@indiantank @ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
