Bob’s ‘Child Molester’ Burger Recreated IRL, Features Candy on Burger Patty

Talk about reality television.

Bob’s Burgers, an animated series on Fox, follows your average yet quirky American family as they work together in their family-owned burger shop.

Each episode features a new “Burger of the Day” hidden away in the background of a scene. The burger board typically features some crazy concoction but also houses some pretty pun-ny creations.

Curious to see how these cartoon patties would hold up in real life, Josh Kurp over at Uproxx recreated some of Bob’s signature specials. From the “Fig-eta ‘Bout It” to the “Not If I Can Kelp It,” Kurp ranked his burger concoctions on a scale of One Dancing Jimmy Pesto Jr. to Five.

“Papaya Was a Rollin’ Stone” Burger

“Don’t Get Crème Fraîche With Me” Burger

 

Ironically, the only burger to get Jimmy Pesto Jr. dancing like a maniac was “The Child Molester” (as seen above). Topped with some chopped up Snickers and Twix bars, this burger ranked the highest of the eight with a score of five out of five Jimmy’s. Go figure.

Check out how the rest of Bob’s Burgers scored here.

H/T Uproxx + PicThx Fox, Tumblr

More content

Products
Olipop Is Giving Away Soda-Scented Wrapping Paper For The Holidays
Olipop is a prebiotic soda brand that’s been shaking up the beverage industry, known for its high fiber content, with only 2 to 5 grams…
,
CultureRecipes
A Cheez-It–Crusted Turkey Leg Will Be Served At The Citrus Bowl
Prince Cheddward, Cheez-It’s royal mascot, will be cheese-pulling up to this year’s Cheez-It Citrus Bowl. He’s come out of retirement to retake the throne as…
,
Products
Goldfish Is Kicking Off 2026 With New Flavors Like Zesty Ranch, Honey Mustard, And Hot Buffalo
Goldfish is kicking off 2026 and leaning harder into bold, playful snacking. The iconic cracker brand is expanding its lineup with new formats and flavors…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox