AmeriCone Cream and Hairy Garcia are What Happens When a XXX-Company Releases a Line of Ben & Jerry’s Themed Pornos

Well here’s an answer to a question no one was asking, but it’s probably safe to say the makers of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream probably aren’t “screamers.”

Yesterday, Vermont’s Finest filed a lawsuit against Rodax Distributors and Caballero Video for producing a series of porn flicks entitled “Ben & Cherry’s,” featuring such pun-porn-tastic (purntastic?) titles inspired by the line’s most popular flavors as Boston Cream Thigh, Peanut Butter D-Cup, Hairy Garcia, and AmeriCone Cream.

According to the suit, the DVD packages clearly parody the iconic Ben & Jerry’s branding, including blue skies, cows and green grass, and pervert them according to fetish: “Peanut Butter D-Cup for large-breasted women; Chocolate Fudge Babes for African-American women; Hairy Garcia for hirsute women; New York Fat And Chunky for large women; [and] Americone Cream for ‘a delicious mix of hot American gay men.'”

Which, clearly, the pristine and prudent B&J’s company shan’t have anything to do with, lest it tarnish their perfectly PC, perfectly family-friendly image–Schweddy Balls and Karamel Sutra notwithstanding.

Chances are, because the parody is so overt (and because Ben & Jerry’s can), Rodax and Caballero are probably going to lose, requiring them not only to turn over all the profits made from the DVDs but also to have the infringing DVDs and related promotional material destroyed. Which, truth be told, might be a little too bad. After all, the box for Chocolate Fudge Babes promises four discs and 20 hours of footage, which is definitely longer than a normal carton of Ben & Jerry’s would last me.

I’m just saying.