This week was a debaucherous one in the world of food news. On our weekly news show, The Katchup, our staff does a quick recap and analysis of the week’s 6 wildest food news stories:

Is Jared Fogle getting fat?

Ex-Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle has been getting fat in jail according to several sources. But Jared’s lawyer is now claiming that is a complete falsehood, and is his pristine client is a saint and continues to look good. Thanks Jared’s lawyer.

A 50-person melee broke out at Chuck E. Cheese

Yeah, the same place kids have pizza, play in ball pits and watch their parents massacre each other.

Someone stuffed Mozzarella Sticks with Pesto

And his name is Josh Elkin, and it’s a beautifully delicious thing.

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos were created by a humble janitor…

He was just sweeping up stuff at the Cheetos factory…took some product home, threw in some elote flair, and the rest was history!

A waiter at Denny’s received a blowjob as his tip

Seriously.