Here's a solution for all those problems of yours.
Because you'll run through a six pack of good, drinkable beer in no time at all, the Austin Beerworks brewery in Texas decided to create the world's "first and only" 99 pack for its new Peacetime Anytime Ale. Seven feet long, 82 pounds, and $99 dollars a box, the limited edition behemoth is, believe it or not, currently on sale in select stores in Austin for a limited time.
Drink it "when sneaking a beer into a non bad-ass cinema," when the "mail's here," when you get summoned for "jury duty," when you want to "out-recycle the neighbors," because it's Monday, or pretty much whenever.
Actually, better buy two cases just in case.