I'm turning 23 this year, which at this point in my life (and for the purposes of this story) means two things. The first is that I make a surprisingly decent living for doing things I love. The second is that I'm probably too old to laugh at dick jokes.
This was the thought process I ignored as I sat in the brightly lit beer hall known as Kaiser Tiger last week during a business trip to Chicago, gently slicing the tip off a pork sausage called the "Justin Bieber." Named for being a "big white brat" by co-owner Chris Latchford, it's a rather impressive thing for having such a lousy namesake. The sausage was supple, yet substantial, dressed in a Munich mustard drizzle and not too-chewy pretzel roll bun. And there I was, giving it a circumcision.
It was a sublimely absurd moment, in an sublimely absurd place. With a top hat-wearing tiger as its mascot and a menu comprised of gems like the Biebs and five pound bacon "bombs," the Kaiser was prime proof that a good idea is a good idea, whether it's making a bacon-only restaurant; circumcising your dinner; or poking fun at Canada's most famous douchebag.
Says Latchford of his Bieber dog, "I'll probably get sued, but at least I can get good publicity out of it."
Words to live by, kids. Words to live by.
Check below for more beer and bacon porn:
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Bacon Grenades
Mini, deep-fried versions of the "bacon bomb": beef and pork meatballs wrapped in bacon and beer battered.
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Beer and Bacon Flight
Three cuts of bacon paired with three craft beers. From L to R: fatty jowl bacon and a hoppy and citrusy Three Floyds Alpha King American Pale Ale; cracked peppercorn bacon with a spicy Green Flash Road Warrior IPA; and brown sugar bacon with a Green Flash Double Stout. A perfect excuse to drink for bacon lovers, and a perfect excuse to indulge for beer drinkers.
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The Justin Bieber
Nowhere as douchey as the original.
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Beer Battered Cheesecake
Gorgeously deep fried, gorgeously drowning in caramel syrup.
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