Spicy challenges have proliferated the Interwebs, though I've traditionally avoided them at all costs. One day last week I got to work and there was a stack of small red coffin-shaped boxes on my desk... looks like my time to do a spicy challenge had come.
It was a package from Paqui Chips, a chip producer that had recently announced the world's hottest tortilla chip called "Fear the Reaper," a chip laced with Carolina Reaper pepper, and apparently is so hot and gimmicky it arrives in a single triangle, condom-lookin' package.
I hadn't seen any of the other reaction videos online, we just jumped downstairs and tried them:
One of our staff writers, Izzy, wrote about the above video earlier yesterday from his perspective, sitting comfortably some 10 feet away from me, behind-the-camera, the entire time. He was giggly and I even overheard him legitimately mutter that he was only tuning in to watch me potentially die (thanks, Izz).
At first taste the chip is a dry heat, imagine doing a spicy version of a cinnamon challenge and you'll have the experience involved with eating the "Fear the Reaper" chip. "It's not pleasant" would be an understatement as the heat lingers longer than other challenges. My mouth became Saharan dusty, my throat suddenly a home for this new unwelcome pain.
And then I had another. And another. And before I put down my fourth, my mouth was in a world of hurt reminiscent of my bottom lip being slammed between two college textbooks.
My tongue began to throb in unison with every beat of my heart. Luckily, roughly thirty minutes after the challenge, most of the pain had subsided. The work day wrapped, I drove home, then went to bed, with most of the pain in my memories. I didn't think a thing of it as I drifted off to sleep.
My alarm, normally set for 6am every morning, was of no use to me the following day. At precisely 4:13am my stomach woke me up with cramps reminiscent of my insides attempting to crush themselves. Apparently those "Fear the Reaper" chips were still lingering from the day before.
For those of you wondering how the "day after" feels, well, it doesn't feel good. It hurts. It jolts you into a painful consciousness, reminding you to never do it again.