Slide Whistle Straws Let You Drink Like a Cartoon Character

slide-whistle-straw-1

There’s an old episode of Spongebob Squarepants in which Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward get their hands on some slide whistles and proceed to add inappropriate sound effects to EVERYTHING in Bikini Bottom — from automatic doors opening to lover’s quarrels. While we don’t recommend being that insufferable, these “Wet My Whistle” straws from Fred & Friends could add some much needed entertainment to an otherwise joyless drinking experience.

Slide whistle when your buddy gets turned down by a girl at the bar. Slide whistle to cover unpleasant vomiting sounds. Slide whistle just to slide whistle, because you and your friends are drunk and no one will remember how annoying you’re being anyway. The “slide” works by pulling the straw in and out of liquid as you blow, providing the perfect excuse to keep drinking — or the perfect excuse for the bartender to cut you off early.

slide-whistle-straw-2

Wet My Whistle Musical Straws, available soon for $9.99 @Fred & Friends

H/T Incredible Things

More content

Products
The Girl Scouts Debut A New Cookie Flavor
The Girl Scouts cookie lineup is about to get bigger. Launching sometime in January 2026, Exploremores is a new Rocky Road ice cream-inspired flavor made…
,
CultureProducts
Kraft Heinz Merger Folds: Company Splits Into Two After Falling Behind Rivals
After 10 years, the merger between Kraft and Heinz will come to an end. On September 2, it was announced that the Kraft Heinz Company…
,
Products
Fruity Pebbles Wants Fans To Pay With Actual Rocks For Free Cereal
Fruity Pebbles has announced a nationwide tour that will give fans a chance to get their hands on a free box of cereal. The “Pebbles…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox