The McMonstrosity is Everything on McDonald’s (Extinct) Dollar Menu
The apocalypse is upon us, friends: McDonald’s just announced that it’s gonna kill off its beloved Dollar Menu in favor of the super-catchy Dollar & More Menu, which goes all the way up to $5 and for some reason isn’t just called “menu”.
In a state of panic, and in order to fuel future nostalgia for a lost delicacy, we raced to the nearest Mickey D’s and ordered everything on the Dollar Menu, then made this McMonstrosity. Five minutes later, as we writhed in agony, we realized all these items will still be available for a dollar when the new menu rolls out in November, BUT STILL it’s the principle, or something.
Our trip to McDonald’s netted everything on the Dollar Menu, from which the McDouble is already conspicuously absent (it must have seen this travesty coming and sought solace among its comrades on the more-than-a-dollar menu). That includes fruity yogurt parfait, a McChicken, a regular cheeseburger, two chocolate chip cookies, a Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger w/ white cheddar that’s just American, and a side salad with some lettuce chunks that were browner than the burgers.
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Step 1
We used the sturdiest item, the cheeseburger, as the base and piled the cookies up top. Strangely, the chips began to melt despite the burger being cold.
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Step 2 & 3
Next, we stacked the mayo-rific chicken on top of the cookie, then loaded that nasty-ass salad up top. Now the sandwich is healthy!
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Step 4
They totally forgot our ranch dressing and fries (they were $2… we splurged, and we were punished), but no matter. Yogurt’s white, so it counts. Plus, all those strawberries and blueberries along with that salad basically make this thing a diet food.
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The Result
The sucker’s so big, we had to skewer it with a chopstick to keep it together, constituting the second most Asian-fusiony thing to happen to McDonald’s ever.
Even with the stick, it had to be smashed down to get a lockjaw-inducing bite that sent parfait and onions dripping.
Conclusion: A beautifully weird symphony of fake-tasting stuff. The salad had no flavor, but the vanilla yogurt paired oddly well with the salt from the burgers and the pepper from the McChicken. Then the chocolate/meat combo hit and it was over… this was one of the grossest combinations of grease and sugar since the Jersey Shore crew worked at an ice cream shop. Heyooo! That said, we finished it. Because we never thought we could do this again, and thankfully we were wrong.
