More overloaded mega burger options from the fine (if slightly overzealous) folks from Carl's Jr. and Hardee's. Because their menus were just *so* boring before.

Less an homage to barbecue season as a way to eat an entire outdoor cookout with one hand, Carl's new Texas BBQ Thickburger is messiness incarnate, featuring a sludge of spicy barbecue sauce-steeped sliced brisket, fried jalapeño and onion strips, American cheese, an Angus burger patty, and the brand's special "Fresh Baked Buns."

In case that's not hefty enough for you, it'd still probably be best to skip the fries, considering each quarter, third, or half-pound burger has a sodium count ranging from 1890 to 2900 milligrams, well over the maximum recommended 2300. Or probably the amount consumed by an average Texan at lunchtime.