Self-Checkout counters can make grocery shopping a pain. The lines are sometimes just as long as regular checkout, you have to manually push buttons yourself, and now we have to worry about the stank from dudes putting their junk on the scanner.
While shopping at a Quality Food Center in Seattle, a dude by the name of Christian Fisher, 31, thought it'd be a great idea to whip out his endowment and scan it on the self-checkout counter, according to the Smoking Gun. Fisher reportedly called for a female employee for help and when she walked up to him, she saw his 'man produce' lying on the counter. Fisher laughed it off and ran out the store, as his prank apparently served its purpose by freaking out the employee.
Like most stupid criminals, the guy came back to the store hours later. Employees recognized him, asked him to leave, but it led to some pushing and shoving between Fisher and security. He took off again, but police were able to spot him about a block away from the Quality Food Center.
Fisher ended up being arrested for indecent exposure, even though he eloquently yelled out, "I didn't whip my cock out!"
If you're wondering, whipping out your dick apparently leads to a misdemeanor count and an assault rap in Seattle. I know, that's a very specific action, in a very specific location, but someone might Google that exact question someday and be led to this article.
