New York Times Columnist Turned Up with Weed Candy and Thought She Died

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd was in Colorado and figured she’d try some newly-legal weed candy, not realizing that weed can make you feel some type of way.

She initially took a bite, didn’t feel anything for an hour and thought it’d be a good idea to keep taking more bites until she felt something. Boy, did she feel something. Dowd then curled up in a panicky ball, couldn’t remember what she was wearing and at one point thought she died.

She even made it sound like she was mutating into Spider-Man, or a Walking Dead zombie:

But then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain. I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours.

The inexperienced Dowd eventually found out that she was supposed to cut the candy into 16 pieces and not dive into them like you would a pizza.

It wasn’t all fun and games, as she pointed out the lack of regulation and labeling with the newly minted marijuana laws, but you have to agree that eating a bunch of weed candy until it works probably wasn’t a good idea. That’s like drinking a bottle of whiskey, not feeling anything, then drinking another bottle of whiskey.

Oh, and the Twitter reactions are the best:

Maureen Dowd is the new 10 guy https://t.co/QCvJHkKdXp pic.twitter.com/0PpnR1REaS

— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2014

“I really want to get high with Maureen Dowd.” – said no one ever.

— HumanityCritic (@HumanityCritic) June 4, 2014

Next week: Maureen Dowd takes sixteen times the recommended dose of Acetaminophen; warns world of dangers in her final column.

— James Ball (@jamesrbuk) June 4, 2014