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Why PETA's Trying To Get The Term 'Tofucken' In The Dictionary

PETA is on a mission to get their oddly vulgar "tofucken" Thanksgiving dish recognized by the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

For the particulars, the tofucken is the vegan bastardization of a turducken, which was already the bastardization of a regular turkey.

The tofu-based dish was introduced in 2015, when PETA collaborated with Penny Glenn, AKA Granny PottyMouth on YouTube. With a deep hatred for eating meat, and a crude vernacular that would make even the grimiest rapper cringe, Glenn put together a Tofucken recipe for the non-meat eating world to enjoy. The tofu block is stuffed with tempeh and wrapped in seitan, which is the trifecta of meat alternatives for vegans.

PETA said the dish is widely used in the vegan community, and deserves its own entry as an official word in the dictionary. The letter sent to Merriam-Webster read:

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"Greetings! Thanksgiving is coming up, and I'm writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 6.5 million members and supporters worldwide with a special holiday request: Please add the now widely accepted and regularly bantered-about word tofucken—an alternative to the holiday fowl dish turducken—to your online dictionary by this Thanksgiving. With your help, we can move one step closer to a world with a pronounced compassion for all animals.

I'm sure that things can get tense when you are evaluating which "real words" to add to the dictionary. Tofucken, a scrumptious block of marinated tofu stuffed with sautéed tempeh and wrapped in seitan, has become a popular holiday dish since it debuted in 2014. The demand for vegan holiday dishes like tofucken has never been higher, as millions of Americans now celebrate a meat-free Thanksgiving for environmental, religious, or health reasons or, most likely, because they know how cruel factory-farming and slaughtering turkeys, chickens, and ducks really are.

Every year in the U.S. alone, 300 million turkeys, 9 billion chickens, and 31 million ducks are killed for food—more than 45 million turkeys are killed just for Thanksgiving. In slaughterhouses, they are slammed upside down by their legs into shackles and their heads are dragged through an electrified bath while they are still fully conscious. Electric currents shoot through their bodies, causing spasms, burns, and fractures. Many are stunned improperly and are still conscious when their throats are cut and they're immersed in scalding-hot water to remove their feathers.

Thanksgiving is about appreciation and kindness. We hope you'll review our submission and add tofucken to the dictionary so that anyone interested in celebrating with compassion this holiday season will easily find its definition. Thank you for your consideration."

Of course, because it's PETA, they couldn't just simply ask for the word to be added, they had to throw in some meat-eater shade with a reminder of how millions of turkeys are killed and tortured on Thanksgiving.

If all else fails, vegans can find solace in the fact that tofucken is already in Urban Dictionary. It's something.