These 15 Flasks Will Make You Want To Risk Drinking In Public
Too often do I go to music festivals and end up paying an arm and a leg for a Jack ‘n Coke, and I only have so many arms and legs to pay with before I’m limbless and broke.
The only way to enjoy a few drinks at these events without busting your wallet is to strategically place flasks all over your body. Thankfully, Hendy from The Chive put together a list of the coolest flasks out there for you to peruse.
1. The Smoker’s Vice
This thing has room for two cigars (or blunts) and about 4 oz. of space for your poison of choice.
2. The Pants-y Dropper
This little guy fits snugly in front as a belt buckle. Just be careful for backsplash when you pee, that would piss me off (pun ALWAYS intended).
3. The Nautilus
This is the flask for the sea-faring man, the kind of guy that pours Johnnie Walker in his Cheerios.
4. The Earth Pocket
Hey man, don’t like, litter, man. Mother earth can feel it.
5. The Throwback
If some 90’s baby tries to take a sip from this, just take it back and say, “Can’t touch this,” then just hammer dance in the other direction.
6. The Legend Of Drunker Vance
Golf can be a very stressful game, maybe a few “shots” on par will chill you out.
7. The Pocket Change
This wallet-turned-flask is convenient for any situation. Even pickpockets will have a good time if they can swipe it.
8. Le Gentleman
Is there any better place to stash your booze than your ‘stache?
9. The Headshot
Of all the flasks, this one might be the most inconspicuous. Still, licking the tip of a video game cartridge in the middle of the Governor’s Ball will probably still look pretty conspicuous.
10. The Prescription Buzz
“Take 12-15 times daily. Do not mix with food or water, as this could speed up the sobering process.”
11. The Skywalk-A-Straight-Line-Er
As awesome as this flask is, make sure you’re still drinking from it responsibly. Don’t “force” yourself.
12. The Whale’s Vagina
“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm.”
13. The Gigantaholic
If you’re buying this flask for yourself, please seek help. Unless you’re a 27-foot man, then you’re ok.
14. The Travelin’ Man
If you’re like me and have nasty ass friends, this flask is a surefire way to keep their dirty mouths off your precious liquid gold.
15. The Fancy Jokester
J. Crew came out with this flask, meant for the more sophisticated man. Aside from the dad joke, of course.
Photo Credit: The Chive
