I'm sure when career criminals are kids they dream about the perfect heist, but I doubt they ever anticipated this.

The Boska Holland Cheese Slicer, valued at approximately $28,000 USD, was stolen from the (very real, totally not a figment of my wet dreams imagination) Amsterdam Cheese Museum last weekend.

Boska Holland loaned Rodrigo Otazu's platinum creation to the museum, so it's safe to say there's some crying over spilled...cheese.

Kept under virtually the same lock and key mechanism you might find at your neighborhood pharmacy's electronics aisle, it's not surprising the slicer's case was easily opened.

The culprits were even caught nonchalantly taking the 220 diamond-encrusted cheese tool on camera:

Maybe they sold it, or maybe they just really care about cheese. They'd have to in order to even know the slicer existed, right?

Regardless, a tip leading to the slicer's safe return (I'm looking at you, cheese utensil black market patrons) will result in "a cheese package and the largest fondue in the world" (translated from Dutch to Italian to English for clarity).

Let no one ever say the Dutch don't know how to give rewards.

H/t  Washington Post