Creepy Guy Has A Crush On Co-Worker, Repeatedly Masturbates In Her Coffee


img: Ramsey County Sheriff's Office

One Minnesota man took the concept of office romance to an incredibly disgusting level.

The man, identified as Robert John Lind, plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure (which was all police could charge him with) on Thursday.


Last August, a woman who worked at Beisswenger’s hardware store in New Brighton, Minnesota called police claiming a co-worker was leaving some sort of bodily fluid on her desk and in her coffee.

According to WCCO, the woman told police that she found Lind standing at her desk with his back turned towards her. His hands were in front of him by his genitals, and he was doing “something” to her coffee.

Lind noticed the woman was watching him and looked at her with a “deer in headlights” expression before quickly moving to another room. When the woman inspected her desk, she noticed a strong odor that resembled urine, but it was “a bit different and strange.”

When she smelled her coffee, she noticed the same thing and noted that she’d been having “an ongoing issue” with “experiencing a foul taste in her coffee.”


Two days later, Lind confessed to masturbating and ejaculating into his co-worker’s coffee twice and on her desk a total of four times. Lind told police he had a crush on the woman, but masturbated in her coffee as revenge for when the woman threatened to report him on all the other weird things he’d done, like repeatedly approaching her with his fly down.

Lind was initially charged with a felony for sexual contact, but the Ramsey County Attorney’s Office dropped that charge after determining there was not enough probable cause to support a specific definition of “sexual contact,” according to the County Attorney’s Office.

“Unfortunately, there are no other applicable felony charges that we can file at this time.”

Written by Sebastian Dillon for NextShark, h/t: Gawker