Here’s how I imagine the conversation between the 50-year-old vicar from Sheffeld, England and his nurse must have gone:

“What exactly were you doing when you found the potato *there*?”

“Just hanging curtains.”

“Naked?”

“Well if I was wearing clothes, I wouldn’t need curtains, would I?”

According to the coy cleric, he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards onto his kitchen table and found a whole potato lodged painfully up his rear end. No word on whether or not he’d been preparing dinner when his poor ADD-riddled mind decided to strip and hang some drapes, but thank goodness no sexual deviance was involved.

"It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening," the vicar’s nurse advised to anyone thinking of doing the same. "Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

Thanks for the heads up! I could have been in for some serious hurt.

H/T Telegraph + PicThx Pixar Wiki