BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse, a family-friendly restaurant, may now be trying to destroy a family near you with their latest promotion: for $10,000 worth of food, name your child — the offspring that is supposed to be your greatest legacy — “Quinoa.”
That’s right, they want you to name your child Quinoa (pronounced “keen-wa” and not “kwin-oh-ah”), the much-hyped high-protein low-gluten seed/grain favored by Peruvians, sensitive yoga bros and health trend band-wagoners alike.
“We are so excited to introduce these amazing new Quinoa Bowls that we wanted to do something big, maybe even a little crazy.”
According to the press release, bad parents must “prove your baby is named Quinoa” via a birth certificate. However, there can only be be one winner, so it may be safe to bet that there will be a few parents with a baby named Quinoa with nothing to show for it (except for their children’s future therapy bills). The promotion ends on Labor Day.
Hmm, $10,000 worth of average-ish food from BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse and all you have to do is subject your child to a lifetime of bullying and ridicule for having a stupid name? May the baby-naming gods have mercy on all babies about to be born.