Alison Gold’s ‘Chinese Food’ Music Video is Terrible, Racist and Absolutely Genius

If you haven’t heard of Alison Gold before, get ready to have her in your everyday vernacular — she’s the next Rebecca Black, and her song and accompanying music video for her soon-to-be #1 hit single “Chinese Food” is quite possibly the most racist, hilarious and downright terribly genius thing I’ve experienced all year.

The production on both the song and video comes from the creepy mind of producer Patrice Wilson, the same dude who put Rebecca Black on the map with the equally flabbergasting “Friday” music video. Wilson has a knack for taking young stars with questionable talent and putting them on the map in the most ridiculous, troll-worthy means possible.

For his latest client, Alison Gold, he’s fashioned a music video that explores a young girl’s passion for Chinese Food. The song is littered it with a kindergartener’s insight on noodles and chopsticks and book-ended with a borderline pedophiliac reveal of Clarence Jay dressed in a panda suit and playing with a host of underage girls.

Check these lyrics:

“I love Chinese food. You know that it’s true. I love fried rice, I love noodles, I love chow mein, chow m-m-m-mein.”

I wanted to hate this video before my first watch — I was even prefaced by one of my friends that I wouldn’t get the 3 minutes 28 seconds of my life back. Much to the contrary, though. The video is so poignantly terrible, charmingly racist and unapologetically catchy that I conclude it to be an amazing piece of Internet content. I laughed, I cried…and I’m writing about it on the Internet, much like the rest of the web will be tomorrow.