This Is The Most Erotic Poem About Pizza I’ve Ever Heard [WATCH]

Poetry can be beautiful, it can lift your spirits, it can take you to a place you never thought possible. And then there’s times when poetry wants to make you take a shower with pizza and do dirty things.

As our own Elie Ayrouth went down to St. Louis to find out what goes down after hours during Tastemade’s “All Nighter” show, he stumbled upon a slam poetry session and dropped a poem about his favorite cheesy pie that could almost be mistaken for a Too $hort verse.

Elie has a knack for turning anything sexual, as his Nikki Giovanni-like spoken word flows actually had the crowd bobbing their heads.

Pizza
Pizza is life
Pizza is sexy
It’s curvy, it’s saucy
Pizza is my wife
It’s deep, deep dish
No, no deep sea fish on my pizza
Paper thin crust
Mile-long cheese pulls
Mountains of pepperoni and basil
It’s nipply in Napoli
Cheese drips everywhere
My food boner burstin’ through my jeans, every seam wih me and my slice
Is ripe with wide eyes, for better or worse, I can’t see the world outside
I need a drink just thinking about my love for this piece of bread, sauce an cheese
It makes me weak to my knees and despite what’s outside
I keep my eyes on the pie
Just one piece, maybe two, maybe six
There’s no bad day for pizza
And even when the pizza’s bad, I want a garbage bag
full of seconds and thirds
until my stomach spits
and this world has heard that I got love for pizza
I want to fold it, I want to rip it
let it wrap around my tongue
as I run up the spiral staircase of a food boner building on my ground floor
the delivery guy’s almost here
I can’t wait to start eating some pizza

Its lines were almost like Kanye’s McDonald’s poem, except pizza trumps MCD fries any day.

There’s a very specific type of person who thinks of sex and pizza at the same time. If this poem makes you feel some type of way, you now know you are one of those people.

More content

Eating OutInnovation
This Texas Town Is Home To The World’s First 3D-Printed Starbucks
Starbucks has over 40,199 stores worldwide, but only one 3D-printed one. The new Brownsville, Texas location is not only the coffee chain’s first 3D printed…
,
Eating Out
Burger King Japan Serves Up A ‘Pickleball Burger’
According to SoraNews24, Burger King Japan is stepping onto the pickleball court with a culinary serve that’s as bold as the sport itself. In celebration…
,
Products
One of America’s Most Sought-After Beers Just Got A Portable Upgrade
Goose Island’s annual Bourbon County releases are legendary—highly sought-after, limited-edition barrel-aged stouts that fans line up for every Black Friday. Known for their rich, complex…
,
Burger
We Deliver!

Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox