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14 Awful British Foods That Make Us Proud to Be American

haggis

This holiday, it's easy to get caught up in the frills. Fireworks, grilling, the old red, white, and blue. But let's not forget the true reason for the season, celebrating our liberation from our staunch, haggis-eating, tea-drinking forefathers. Think about it. If we hadn't told GB to buzz off, we may have never created the Double Down. Girl Scout Cookies would only be eaten at tea time. French fries would be called chips and chips would be called crisps. Crisps!

So, this Independence Day, remember there's plenty reason to revel in our independence, especially the fact that we didn't get stuck eating that awful soggy grey stuff they call "food" on the other side of the pond. Sure Britain's got its cool accents and nifty TV shows, but we'll take a deep-fried twinkie over this mess any day:

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stargazy

Pastry pie topped with fish heads

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jelliedeeg

Like unagi, only gross

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haggis

A pudding thing made from sheep heart, liver, and lungs

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blackpudding

A pudding sausage thing made from pig's blood

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babygaga

Warning: Made from human breast milk

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spotteddick

Another pudding thing made with raisins; thankfully not diseased genitalia

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leverbread

Seaweed thing?

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sussex

A boiled cake with a whole lemon inside. Why is it boiled?

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twizzlers

What looks like Britain's version of Slim Jims, only a million times more frightening

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marmite

Yeast extract-based salty poop sauce

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bubble

Medley of last night's leftover cabbage

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porkfaggot copy

Unfortunately named offal meatballs

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fliesgraveyard

Giant raisin newtons

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peas

Not gross necessarily. Still sad looking though.

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Happy 4th of July everybody!

(CORRECTION 7/3/14: A previous version of this article listed Pickled Eggs as a British food. They are British in origin, but can also be found worldwide.)