A month ago, we dropped the Pizza Cake — a massive tower of stacked pizzas surrounded by an impressive golden wall of crust. We were impressed, to put it mildly, and took a closer look at the rest of the entries for “Pizza Game Changer” — a contest held by Canada’s Boston Pizza chain in which fans vote on their favorites and the winning idea gets turned into an actual product.

At the moment, the pizza-crusted pizza cake still leads the pack with practical curiosities like pizza-flavored breath mints and a heavy duty, gas-powered pizza cutter still in the running. We picked the most insane of the bunch and the ones we’d like to see become a reality. Pizza tacos? If this is what Canadian cuisine looks like, we’ll take a second serving, please.

1. Pizza Cake

Dubbed the Multilayered Birthday/Wedding/Any Reason Cake.

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2. Gas-Powered Pizza Cutter with Lazer Sight

The closest thing you’ll get to a chainsaw pizza cutter, we guarantee it.

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3. Pizza Cheese Clippers

FINALLY. It’s about damn time someone invented something to prevent you from stripping your pizza toppings in one fell cheese drool.

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 4. Pizza Beardkin

This is very necessary. Although, anyone else notice that the guy in the pic doesn’t have a beard? What a sham.

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5. Pizza Mints

Mmm, baby. Let me lean in closer to smell that cheesy, pepperoni flavor emanating from your mouth.

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6. Pizza-Shaped Pocket Shirt

Pocket Protector < Pizza Protector

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7. Pizza Car Freshener

For those of you who actually like ruining that fresh car smell.

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8. Lockable Pizza Protector

For serious pizza eaters only.

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9. Pizza Taco

A pizza folded into a taco then stuffed with mo’ melty, meaty cheese grease? Yes, that is the correct answer.

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10. Pizza Burger

Ok, we cheated. This one isn’t in the running, but damnit, it should be. Canada, bring this gorgeous hotmess back!