Burger King Has Lost All Control, Puts Fate Of Chicken Fries On This Clucking Chicken

In an absurd move, Burger King is letting a chicken decide where its Chicken Fries will be sold in the US.

A chicken. Deciding where dead chickens should be served.

I’m not exactly a PETA activist, but that’s pretty fucked up.

Burger King did go through some extra trouble to show how comfortable Gloria, the chicken, would be in her special coop during her cross-country tour:

It all seems like a quid pro quo deal because Burger King can obviously never kill Gloria, nor can anyone else. Betraying your species and endorsing a product made out of your family seem like a good way to guarantee a long life, even if you don’t actually know what’s going on.

So far, she’s only been to two cities, accepting Maryland and brutally denying New Jersey:

Even chickens hate New Jersey.