I recently attended my cousin’s 21st birthday, and this little asshole casserole was being fed froofy ass shots like a Buttery Nipple and a Redheaded Slut, and he was loving it. I stepped in to rock that little slut’s face off with some manly man shots, and that’s when I realized that the only two shitty shots I knew were the Gorilla Fart and the Four Horsemen. Right in that moment is when I decided to travel from bar to bar, trying to learn what exactly were…

The Worst Shots Ever

At Stag Bar + Kitchen, Hayley and I met Bree, a delightful young bartender that was happy to help us in our quest to molest our livers with liquors. The shots we received may not have been totally disgusting, but what they lacked in shitty flavor they made up for with embarrassment, as we had to take them in public. Putting a fake penis in your mouth in front of everyone there could scar a lesser person; thankfully Hayles and I are a couple o’ tough guys.

Bree gave me and Hayley the Muff Diver and the Blowjob Shot, respectively. Hayley thought it would be really funny to watch me take the Blowjob Shot, but I assured her that, alas, I would not laugh. Bree also put a fun little twist to what our shots traditionally look like, specifically Hayley’s drink. Check out how our shenanigans played out below.