This Adorably Lazy Cat Reviews ‘Beef Wellington’ and ‘Chicken Pate’

A few weeks ago, that frou frou cat “Mittens” recommended I try Purrfect Bistro. While I rarely take anything seriously that hairy dude says, I secretly ordered a package of it anyway. Just don’t tell Mittens.

If you do, we’re totally not friends anymore.

The package arrived while I was in the middle of my usual routine — kicking back with some Saturday morning cartoons while trying to hide the remote from Socks. Then, just as Spongebob was showing that starfish who’s boss, the doorbell rang.

I leaped off the couch with the quickness of a trained ninja and opened the door.

_________

Ugh. I was happier than a kitten in a pool of catnip and silly string.

Of course, Socks took the liberty of opening it himself.

He’s the reason we can’t have nice things.

Once I managed to get rid of Socks, I set up a swanky picnic for myself.

I started off with Beef Wellington packed with Omegas. Gotta keep that fur lookin’ fine for the ladies.

That Chicken Pate tho. Low carbs, high protein and most delicious thing EVAR.

I followed up the main course with some grain-free chicken grub, aka #SNACKSONSNACKSONSNACKS

Overall, some pretty classy treats that’ll put you in an epic food coma and make you useless for the rest of the day. Can’t be mad at that!

If you’re trying to impress a certain lady cat in your life or just want to eat proper, grab some grub here or head to your closest Petco or other specialty pet shop.

You also get $4 off any Merrick Purrfect Bistro dry food bag or 50¢ off any wet food with this coupon.

Tell them Philly sent you.

– Philly the Kat