Watch This Guy Cry/Eat/Destory a Watermelon, Skin and All

Don’t try this at home kids. Unless, you know, you want to feel gross for days and forever ruin your love of vodka-soaked watermelon. But if the several-second long burp about seven minutes in, or the look of sheer agony about halfway through this video doesn’t deter you, then honestly, who are we to stop you?

It certainly didn’t stop this guy, who decided he’d eat an entire watermelon, skin and all, for our entertainment. After bursting out of his closet to demolish a watermelon with a machete (which looks like way too much fun), he decides to torture himself with the watermelon challenge. We get to watch him squirm, cry, and chomp his way through. It looks painful, it looks exhausting, it looks disgusting, but it also looks kind of awesome. We won’t spoil the ending for you, but all we’ve got to say is, this guy is our new champ. Check him out.