With approximately 40 days and nights between the start of Lent and Easter Sunday, it's easy to see why the image of an overflowing Easter basket, containing pounds of gimmicky, rabbit-shaped chocolates, piled on top of an assortment of other junk food, has become such an honored and welcomed tradition.
Chocolaty rewards for the accomplishing our Lenten sacrifices, perhaps?
But it's time to break away from the traditional Easter Basket candy by discovering some pretty intense, insanely intricate and modestly (over) priced Easter-themed delights that you probably won't find tucked into a patch of fake grass this Easter Sunday.
Chocolate Ostrich Egg
Hotel Chocolat, a UK based chocolatier, has created a version of the traditional Easter egg — on steroids — and it's pretty awesome.
Well, technically, it's an Ostrich Egg, and Hotel Chocolat claims it's the actual size of an Ostrich egg, "to make sure we weren't exaggerating on this one," and it's available in milk and dark chocolate.
Weighing in at approximately 2.5 pounds, the Ostrich Egg (spoiler alert: the "egg" is a bit deceiving, because it's sold as two separate halves) comes with a variety of truffles, pralines and caramels, that can be displayed in a number of ways for anyone you'd like to spend $105 on.
Ostrich egg hunt, anyone?
Or, for $75.00, you can buy a pound of enchanted shrooms. Pretty cheap, right? Well, it's not exactly a pound of shrooms, it's a single 6-inch tall, 1.3 pound mushroom. Sadly, the Enchanted Mushroom of Wolakalou by Vosges Chocolate won't make you trip balls, but it is gluten free.
What is trippy about this giant mushroom, which is encased in a white chocolate shell, is that it's, "filled with a soft, dark chocolate Italian Piemonte hazelnut and Reishi mushroom ganache," and offers beneficial antioxidant properties, according to Vosges Chocolate.
Yes, you've been lied to your whole life, Peeps suck. Thanks, Mom.
Imperial Spring Flowers Egg
But you know what doesn't suck? This gigantic hand-crafted Easter egg, made by the acclaimed UK chocolatier, Bettys & Taylors of Harrogate.
For about $347, you can purchase Bettys Imperial Easter Egg featuring intricately crafted, "Royal Icing Sugar Flowers." But, if you're in the U.S., you'll also have to buy a plane ticket too, because this egg can't make it over the pond. The Imperial Easter Egg weighs 5,400 grams, or about 12 pounds. Best of all, it's listed as "unsuitable" for vegans and vegetarians on Bettys website.
But, this article is about stepping away from the traditional, right? Enough with the eggs already.
The World's Most Expensive Chocolate Truffle
The Madeline au Truffe is a French Perigord truffle incased in 70 percent Valrhona dark chocolate. This magnificent mushroom/Bon Bon combo is shipped in a fancy box, atop a bed of sugar pearls. The Madeline au Truffe made Forbes' best Valentines Day gift guide for billionaires, so it's only natural that it graces our lists of over-the-top Easter chocolates.
Now that every Easter basket you've ever seen or received has just cried a little, let's continue.
An Artistic Box Of Chocolates
New York-based gourmet chocolatier, MarieBelle, has introduced a unique and artistic spin on the average box of chocolates. Collaborating with world renown artist Chau Giang Thi Nguyen, to create collectable Ganache box sets adorned with iconic pieces of Nguyen's artwork. The River of Diamonds Cien Box range from $25 - $400. The set pictured below is listed as $400.00 on MarieBelle.com
This really brings a new meaning to the phrase, "life is like a box of $400 MarieBelle chocolates, stay the fuck outta mine!"
A Diamond-Eyed Bunny
If a $400 box of chocolates, or a $250 truffle on sugar pearls doesn't show you how badly you've suffered over the years, then this 1-foot-tall chocolate bunny with two diamond eyes will make you feel even worse.
Feast your eyes on, "The world's most extravagant chocolate Easter Bunny," and it can be yours for the give away price of $49,000.
One more time for clarity.
This one-of-a-kind, Easter creation stands more than 14.5 inches tall and weighs more than 11 pounds. Carved out of 100% pure Tanzania chocolate, this coco critter is estimated to contain a little under 600,000 calories. The rabbit's 1.7 carat diamond eyes can be set into another jewelry frame, once it's done being consumed.
With Easter around the corner, just think about all the money that could have been saved NOT buying any Easter candy. You might actually be lucky enough to score one of these chocolate-based creations.
But, hey, who knows, there's always the Easter Bunny.