‘Pic Nic Pants’ and Eating Off Your Crotch, Because This is America

Finding a balance between fashion and function isn’t always easy. Skinny jeans are in for us dudes? Try crossing your legs at a picnic with your girlfriend, and then balancing that broccoli salad between your thighs while you juggle the remnants of a club sandwich. That’s right, it’s pretty damn hard.

That’s where Pic Nic Pants come in, an innovation for the pants that takes advantage of the cross-legged position to become a comfortable table surface that hovers above your crotch. Designed by the Acquacalda design group, each pair features a lateral fabric for the table and an orientable pocket for drinks. Also, if your ‘swag’ is on a hundred-thousand-trillion, you can wear these out in public.

No word on availability just yet, but we’ll let you know when we get a pair. My swag is at a hundred-thousand-billion, so I’m almost ready.