This article hails from 7Deadly Mag, the literary gutter of excess

Yeastiality (n): sexual relations with bread or dough.

Thanks to the internet, we now know that this is a thing. Reddit user ImKennedy, who happened to work at a pizza shop at the time, asked the following question: “I was wondering if I could get a yeast infection from having sex with uncooked pizza dough?”

Neitzens were quick to come to the rescue, pointing out that while it won’t get you pizza pregnant, like most sexual encounters, you should wear a condom. As Unclecavemanwasabear pointed out:

Now, my completely un-medical opinion would be that no, you can not get a yeast infection from humping bread dough. That being said – messing around with a doughy d might make your lady’s anyone’s parts more hospitable to the yeast in their body – for that reason, I would make sure you still wrap it up…

Feeling inspired, ImKennedy claims to have walked into work the next day, grabbed some freshly made pizza dough from the freezer, then when he couldn’t contain himself any longer, taken a washroom break, slipped on a condom, then proceeded to, er, lay the “D.” Unfortunately, after washing his hands, the pizza perpetrator continued to make pizzas and take orders until his shift was over. “In short, it was one of the best things in my life,” say ImKennedy.

Convinced yet?

Peep more 7Deadly stories:

• Girl Scout Weed
• Nutella Pot S’mores in 5 Minutes
• NYC to Open Its First High-End Marijuana Supper Club

Picthx Jeff Kubina