For as long as sex has been around, which, if my calculations are correct is at least 200-300 years, men and women have been finding new and exciting ways to smash cheeks with each other, particularly with the use of food. For reasons beyond me, there is a glaring lack of vibrators and dildos shaped like our favorite foods.

Well ladies, the urge to combine sex and food in a satisfying way has been unearthed! Firebox came out with another amazing thing we don't need but desperately want when they released their i-Scream Vibrator.

With 10 different speeds to choose from, the i-Scream Vibrator even comes in a retro-style pinstripe box and a little button that plays snazzy jazz tunes. Just make sure you hide it in a place your children will never reach, because there are few thoughts more horrific than what happens when they find it.

Photo Credit: Firebox