"Ugh, The Katchup is FINALLY back. Took you guys long enough, geez."

Yes, we can read your mind. We're also really good at recapping all of the craziest stories of the week, so don't feel bad if you missed out on them the first time around. Although you should still feel a teensy weensy bit bad.

How can one determine the strength of his penis? One man found out with the help of three cases of beer. Ja Rule has somehow managed to be relevant again, but only because somebody threw a beer can at his head, and it's hysterical. Good luck getting me to ever buy Dr. Pepper again, not after the "prize" one little kid found in the bottle.

Budweiser took a shot for glory (and pretty much missed) when they changed their principal beer's name to "America."  Somebody finally created a device that can make tortillas. Taco Tuesday will never be the same again.

Welcome to...THE KATCHUP!