You know the feeling — you invite your bourgeois, psuedo foodie Yelp Elite friends over for a dinner circle jerk  at your new loft and you're tearing through the cupboards looking for kitchenware only to come to the heart-dropping realization, "I don't have a single chip 'n' dip bowl."

You have a bowl...but come on, your friends are Yelp Elite and they don't have time to transfer a chip a few inches to that stray bowl across the table. When you don't have a chip 'n' dip bowl, so many things can go wrong...so many chances for people to judge you. I can only imagine the questions that cross their minds when they see the dip and chip separation, "Man, our host isn't confident enough in his chip 'n' dip pairing, so he's putting out chip bowls...and dip bowls."

Little do they know, I just didn't have one because my mom didn't outfit my new apartment with the latest dope-dope from Crate and Barrel, and I'm running the risk of not impressing these guys.

Oh well, I'm glad there are Foodbeast YouTube videos that help me pair my other stray kitchen parts together so my guests can regain their confidence in me. I'm fucking back: