GOOD MORNING SWEETIE! WELCOME TO 2013!!!
Oh, was that too loud?
Sorry, just got a little excited there. How’s this? Better? Good.
Well, here we are. We finally made it, past the bath salt zombies, past the last Twilight movie, past Call Me Maybe and Gangnam Style, to the other side of the 2012-2013, post-Mayan Doomsday divide. So if you spent last night throwing the finger at the absolute shitshow that was 2012, I don’t blame you.
Your memory might be a little spotty, but at least you know it was a good time right?
But now the party's over and you probably feel more like this:
So, whenever you’re ready to face the New Year (or heck, even the new day), here are a few hangover breakfast recipes to help get you through to January 2.
According to TIME Magazine, coconut water can be used in medical emergencies as an alternative to other IV liquids. And I don't know about you, but that fact, combined with the heavenly elixir's light and sweet taste, is more than enough reason whip up a nice cool glass of this stuff. Or you know, two or three.
Another liquid, because the thought of solids probably doesn't sound all that appealing right now. The added sriracha instead of tabasco could also help give you that extra kick to at least try and start your day. And trying has got to count for something.
And the final drink on the list, in case coconut water's too fruity and Bloody Mary's are too housewifey and you didn't have the foresight to grab yourself a bottle of regular Gatorade as chaser.
If and when you are ready to have some solid food though, these maple bacon donuts could be perfect for the drunken muncher with a sweet tooth. Because you probably already hate yourself anyway.
Pizza for a hangover is amazing, that's a no-brainer. But sometimes the phone is too far or you just don't want to wait the 30 minutes it'll take for your (probably also hungover) pizza truck driver to get there. Luckily there's such a thing as a microwave and sliced bread, halle-freaking-lujah.
Kind of a layman's pad thai. Thankfully also super cheap to make, you know, in case you blew all your cash at the bar. Because you did. Just FYI.
Mushy, gushy and potassium filled, bananas take very little effort to eat and don't sit nearly as heavily as most other foods do in your stomach the morning after. The Nutella and deep fried bread just happen to be very delicious bonuses.
Last but not least, the cheesy, greasy, potatoey motherlode. Now supposedly all these things are actually really bad for you, especially when you're nursing a hangover. But for some reason they taste amazing and frankly, if it's wrong, I for one don't want to be right.
Now, we understand that even though it's probably 12, 3 or even 6 in the afternoon right now, you're probably not ready to be up and about. So we're just gonna leave this list right here. So go ahead, close your eyes, close the curtains, maybe change out of your party dress into your comfy PJs and sleep off the rest of the booze.
Just come on back when you're ready for some New Year's breakfast noms, ya hear?