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The Coachella Experience Through The Eyes Of A Foodie

When the music lineup is announced

Assembling your squad

A photo posted by Status Kuo (@eatstatuskuo) on

A squad that grubs together at Coachella, stays together! You take your seat as the designated foodie and assemble a killer squad around you consisting of an ACTUAL music enthusiast, the FOMO person, the rich kid who likes to brag about their VIP pass, the festival goer who doesn’t even care what festival it is, the valley girl, the out-of-towner, the foodie, Vanessa Hudgens, and the hippie mom. They will be important later when you need to re-up on your watermelon or double fist those giant pizza slices, as someone needs to save your spot in the crowd. They're also helpful in holding your crazy amounts of food (heavy breathing). Another reason the squad is important is they need to be understanding of your food needs, no one likes a complainer. Lets not forget someone has to take the picture or act as an impromptu hand model. Bottom line. This step is crucial, so choose wisely.

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Purchasing ticket

Without a doubt the worst part of the whole Coachella experience is purchasing the tickets. This is also shared on every social media possible, but in a much less hyped, way more whiny way. Basically we are all just whiny and complaining about the price although I do not doubt actual tears have ensued following the purchase. I may have personal experience. If your bank account isn’t slightly crying after a Coachella purchase pat yourself on the back, you are successfully adulting, have a successful sugar daddy, or just a successful (generous) daddy. Either way, I hate you.

When the Important lineup comes out

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You know—the food lineup. The best lineup. Ok, if you're not a foodie and are ready to shoot a mean comment my way for being more into the food than the music, FINE! But you better also send one to Coachella and tell them to step their music game up. I am not inhuman. I love music too, I just think the lineup game for food is far superior to the music lineup. Sorry, I am so not sorry. This is the day foodies get hyped on social media with ideas for food combinations. Ah, daydreams.

Planning your set list

Every Coachella-goer eagerly awaits set times and as a foodie it's no different. We, too, get hyped about the set times. I obviously go for the music as well okay, sigh. Anyway, knowing set times is very important. You have to map out where you will be and what food is around the area. It essentially helps you know what kind of food you will be eating and on what day. Your eating pace is determined, your menu for the day is set, and your tunes to grub to are established. It all goes hand-in-hand.

Waiting in line for food

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You did it. You have made it to the motherland. Your stomach is grumbling and it is go time. If you have been to Coachella you know the vibes are unlike any other. Everyone is just smiling and running around. I don’t know about you, but when I'm in line for food, I am smiling ear to ear. Everyone else's smiling just adds to that. I look like a giddy five year old whose mouth is stuck in an upside down rainbow formation. Waiting in line with others just as happy as you are is just a plus. You have your squad holding your place in the crowd (hopefully they are good with elbows) and everything you have been dreaming of for the past few months is finally falling into place. Bliss.

7. Realizing every damn dollar was worth it

Because pizza ? #coachellaeats ?: @kirkirchanel

A photo posted by Official Coachella Eats 2016 (@coachellaeats) on

You take that first drool-inducing bit, get that Insta-worthy pic and the music is like Jesus himself is performing a private concert. Fine, Coachella, take my money. Every last dollar. I love you, Coachella.