Turns out, yes, there is a multifunctional utensil that's even more ingenious than the spork.
From San Diego inventors Kevin Newburg and Stephen Grinalds comes Brew Cutlery, a set of stainless steel forks, spoons, and knives designed with bottle opener hinges built right into the handles. Simple and entirely gastropub-friendly, the utensils have been spot-tested on "thousands" of beers to provide maximum leverage, and should be available for sale by June 2014, pending a successful Kickstarter campaign.
Of course, with 36 days to go and less than $3,000 away from their pledge goal, we're pretty sure we'll be seeing these at Ikea in no time.
Brew Cutlery 3-Piece Set: $18 - 25 @ Kickstarter