McDonald's wants their thousands of employees to know that anyone can survive on Mickey D's minimum-wage paychecks . . . as long as they have a second job. And don't buy food. And all of their expenses are way, way below the national average. Then they're good to go.

Think we're exaggerating? Take a look at McDonald's step-by-step budgeting guide for their employees, most of whom are paid minimum wage to flip burgers and mop up gallons of "special sauce" from bathroom floors. McDonald's partnered with Visa to create a bizarrely out of touch list of basic expenses that tells their employees to spend $20 a month on health insurance (for the record, McDonald's cheapest health insurance plan charges employees $54 a month), $600 on rent/mortgage payments (average monthly rent in the United States is $804) and exactly $0 on heat (guess the employees at the twenty-one Alaskan locations are sh*t outta luck).

But wait, it gets better. Even after dramatically downplaying average monthly expenses, McDonald's still couldn't stretch the numbers enough to justify making a living on rock-bottom wages. So the list assumes that all McDonald's employees have a second job that pulls $900 a month. And that they can survive without food, since the projected food budget is . . . nonexistent.

After taking a look at this list, we're impressed by McDonald's commitment to minimum-wage fantasyland. But we're betting their employees would be more impressed with a raise. Peep the budget guide below.

H/T + PicThx Gothamist