Yesterday, Taco Bell announced the return of its Beefy Crunch Burrito this May, much to the excitement and outrage of many a Facebook fan, who threatened not only to stop eating at Taco Bell if the news turned out to be fake, but also to burn down their local location or kill someone with a lightsaber. With social media teams’ obsessions with cranking out prank stories all day, it’s easy to understand everyone’s hesitation. We totally get it. And on that note, here’s a list of the day’s best pranks that mercilessly got our hopes up:
_______________
This is one prank that never should have happened. First off, the story broke last Thursday, arguably outside the accepted parameters of April Fool’s Day prankage. Second, promising users the delicious taste of bacon with absolutely none of the heart attack should be a crime punishable by law. So not cool.
_______________
Flavor idea of the month: Pizza flavored Tic Tac mints! A cheesy snack that really delivers... #AprilFools twitter.com/TicTacUSA/stat… — Tic Tac USA (@TicTacUSA) April 1, 2013
Again, million dollar idea alert. When was the last time we had a new tic-tac flavor anyhow?
_______________
Okay, in hindsight, buying DVD-shaped deli meat that has been sitting in a giant red box without proper refrigeration was probably a bad idea anyway. But how amazing would it be to not have to wander through the frigid deli meat section every time you just want a movie and snacks? Seriously.
_______________
Sharpie got in on the game by announcing a line of “Cheeseburger”-inspired markers, including colors like "catsup red," "cheddar orange," "buns beige" and "beefy brown.” The only thing that could have made these non-existent food-inspired writing utensils better? If they were scented too.
_______________
Meet the microwave that would never, ever break! Your move, zombie apocalypse.
_______________
Seemingly designed specifically for our Publisher, this 2-in-1 Sour Patch Kid-inspired body wash lets you smell and taste like the adorable candy children and is also 100% edible. Wow Satan, think you could be more heartless?
_______________
Admittedly, a bar that lets you pass out at the airport and equips you with a shock collar to ensure you don’t miss your flight could never actually be real. But it’s nice to dream.
_______________
It’s called KRKLND and it’s like Costco for lushes. Costco. For. Lushes (i.e., us). GAHDFACKINGDAMN.
_______________
And finally, the one we wish never, ever comes true:
He brought us Chicken and Waffle Wings and the Bacon Weave Grilled Cheese and without him, I probably wouldn’t have a clue what to eat for dinner.
_______________
Hopefully, this whole dumb day has died down by now and everything will go back to normal and somewhere, some ideation team will look back and wonder why they didn’t think of any of these sooner. Christmas is only 9 months away, guys. Get on it.
